~More Love - Being "Arnold" - Be-ing Love~

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From: SEELOVEverywhere~ Kindness of Strangers



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From: Earth Angel

Thank you so very much for your insights, Brad. You've opened up a whole new perspective for me. Many Blessings and deep Gratitude.
♥ Earth Angel
gentlesoul4peace



What is an Arnold?


In the early 1990s, I was working at Utah's Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS), otherwise known as Child Protective Services (CPS). My duties included doing investigations and providing counseling for families involved in child abuse and/or neglect.

Late one afternoon my supervisor and I were returning to the office from a long, frustrating afternoon in court. The cold, dark winter sky matched the emotions weighing on my heart and the heavy silence in the car suggested my supervisor was in a similar mood.

We had just come from another emotionally draining hearing in family court. I had given testimony of the long history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse three young children had suffered at the hands of their parents.

The court had placed the children into states custody and remanded them into foster care. The parents were found guilty of physical, sexual and emotional abuse of their three children. It looked like these three young children were most likely destined to many years of life in foster care, being bounced from one home to another.

Any CPS worker in any state will tell you the state does not make a good parent. The inadequacies of an often under-funded, over-worked system can result in the further abuse of children who are already deeply wounded by their parents or caregivers. Consequently, the prospects of what lay ahead for these children were at best, very dismal.

There is good reason why there is such a high burnout rate among CPS workers nationwide. The wear and tear on the heart and soul from witnessing and dealing with the worst of mankinds inhumanity day after day often leaves them feeling beaten down and eaten up from the inside-out.

There is nothing more depressing than having to deal on a daily basis with the pain and ugliness of sexual, physical and emotional abuse inflicted upon innocent children by the people they instinctively look to for protection and nurturing

My mind was in such a place that day; I was lost in the turmoil of thoughts and emotions of helpless and hopeless feelings.

Finally, I broke the silence, and speaking more to myself than to my supervisor, I quietly asked the hypothetical question, Why?

Startled by the sudden intrusion from the silence, she responded, Why?... why what?

We drove along in silence; I was lost in my thoughts, my supervisor silent and waiting for me to answer.

Suddenly I realized she was staring at me, a look of confusion and wonder etched into her tired, well-worn face.

Where is the justice? I asked, staring straight ahead, watching the heavy snow flakes melt against the windshield before the wipers scraped them aside.

Our court system isnt perfect, she offered quietly.

I turned, studying her. A woman in her early 50s; she looked fifteen years older. Her face scarred with the years of stress, her eyes void of any light or life. I felt like I was looking into my own future and it depressed me further.

I dont mean the court system, I said, I mean where is the justice in life? Where is the fairness? I faded off, lost in my void of understanding.

I dont usually bring up God and religion at work, I said carefully, but where is God with all this? How can God allow these innocent kids to be repeatedly victimized? How can God sit and watch the thousands and thousands of young innocent souls be brutalized and scarred and not do anything? I had turned back, facing forward, talking to the melting snowflakes again.

We are told God created all men equally, but that is actually far from the truth, I complained. People arent created equally! How can people say we are created equal when we all come into this life with such diverse circumstances? I demanded of the dark stillness, broken only by the soft amber headlight beams.

For example, I continued, not even checking to make sure she was still listening lets say one child is born into a healthy, functional family. His dad is a college professor and his mother is a social worker. He grows up in a home of love and support, getting a quality education and enjoying a fun, full and rewarding childhood. When the time comes, he follows his parents example, completing his college education and graduating with honors. He marries his childhood sweetheart and over the next several years raises two healthy, functional children. As he grows older, he becomes a grandfather, retiring into a comfortable life. Although he has some minor challenges through his life, when its time for him to pass over, he does so in peace, completing a relatively nice, fulfilling, uncomplicated life.

At the other extreme is a young man who comes into the world as a crack baby, born to an alcoholic and drug-addicted single mother, I said, lost in my own thoughts and frustrations and trying to sort things out as I spoke. After eleven years of unspeakable neglect, abuse and deprivation, this deeply wounded young man is finally taken into states custody. But the years have taken their toll, and the pain of being left, unattended for days in his crib, going without food or water, suffering the rage and perversions of his mothers many boyfriends have left him detached, untrusting and full of anger.

Raised in an environment of drugs, violence and crime, he learns from his mentors to rebel against all laws, hate all authority figures (especially cops), and pursue the easiest course in life. He learns his lessons well. The fact that it was police officers who took him from his mother only reinforced his hatred and distrust for them and the system they represent.

I will never get used to that, she said quietly, snapping me back. It never ceases to amaze me how loyal these kids are to their abusive parents, it seems the worse the abuse, the stronger their loyalty.

For a period, there was silence, as each of us felt the weight of the hopeless desperation we had so often witnessed.

Finally I continued, describing the scene in my mind. Well, not surprisingly, within a short time his mother cuts off all contact with him, leaving him feeling even more abandoned, angry and hurt. He bounces from home to home, each time becoming more embittered and resentful.

Finally, the young man runs from his foster home and joins a local street gang. Within his gang-banger friends, he finds everything he has longed for in his life; a sense of belonging, support, and the closest thing to a family he has ever had. He quickly becomes involved in drugs, not only because thats the lifestyle hes learned so well in his childhood, but because it also medicates the tremendous pain he carries inside.

Soon he is selling drugs and making good money. For the first time in his life, he has a sense of pride in which he is. Also, for the first time, he has a sense of belonging to a tribal unit.

He buys a gun for protection and gets in a number of fights. Eventually his life ends all too suddenly in a drive-by shooting.

Turning back to my supervisor, yet still talking more to myself than to her, I demand, How can God judge these two? Each one learned the laws and rules of his upbringing. Each one followed the traditions of his parents. How can God send one to heaven and one to hell?

I sat there staring at her, desperate to find the answers to these agonizing questions within my heart and soul. Questions that unfortunately, I knew she could not answer.

Several months later, I was still struggling with those questions. I was going through a spiritual crisis. I started questioning all the beliefs I had held up to that point in my life. The teachings of my childhood religion didnt provide any answers; the vagueness often just leads to more confusion and questions. I was in the middle of a firestorm of the soul.

This went on for many months. I talked to my family, my friends, my religious leaders and only became increasingly confused, frustrated and ultimately discouraged.

I started praying more fervently than I had ever prayed before. I began to open my heart to God, realizing perhaps what I needed to receive was something other than what I wanted to hear.

Answers started coming, in the form of books given to me by wise friends, audiotapes shared with me, and invitations to watch videos. These helped give me some understanding into the insights of the Universe. And then one day I realized I had a new perspective, a perspective that opened my mind and changed my life.

A parable of life came to mind that life is like a weight room in a health spa. As you walk into the spa, to your right you see a powerful weightlifter (Arnold) with his spotter (someone who is there to watch over and protect him). Hes already been there for several hours and is currently on the bench press with 300 pounds on the bar. He is in the process of completing his third set of ten reps.

On the other side of the gym, to your left is a 98-pound weakling (Pee Wee). Pee Wee has 5 pounds on the bar and after he completes one set of five reps, he takes a shower and goes home. Hes in and out of the gym in less than an hour.

Now, as we look at these two, we realize both have had a complete workout. Even though Arnold will be here for more than five hours and Pee Wee less than one, they both have pushed their bodies to their own individual limits.

Question #1: what would happen if we gave Arnolds workout to Pee Wee? I think we would all agree it would probably destroy Pee Wee. He could not handle it. It would overwhelm him.

Question #2: contrastingly, what would happen if we gave Pee Wees workout to Arnold? Again, realistically, if Arnold followed Pee Wees workout for a year, not only would it be a waste of time, not only would Arnold not grow in strength, he would, in reality, atrophy. Over time, his muscles would shrink from lack of use, and he would actually become weakened.

I realized life is like that spa. Some souls who come into this world are young and under-developed. These are the souls who glide through life. We all know people like this; people whose biggest challenge in life seems to be a flat tire or spilling their coffee. These young souls need very little to test them to their fullest. They are the Pee Wees of the world.

And then there are the Arnolds. These powerful souls enter this world like Arnold walks into a weight room. They are determined to make the most of their time. They load up the challenges, like a sumo wrestler fills a dinner plate. Their plates are filled to the edges and as high possible with challenges and opportunities for growth and learning.

Because they appreciate the precious value of this life, they take on these tremendous challenges to insure that their life is not wasted. These are the people who choose extraordinary challenges in their life, such as abused children, orphans, crack babies, homeless youth, parents who have lost their children, children with terminal illnesses, and the mentally ill. Arnolds choose from many different possibilities to challenge themselves and provide optimum growth. Each challenge is carefully chosen to provide the lessons they need to gain the growth they wish to experience in this life.

Another important insight in understanding Arnolds is that they often underestimate their own strength. When Arnold is doing the final reps of his last set and he is going for the burn as they say in bodybuilding (pushing the workout until the muscles are so tired there is a burning sensation within the muscle), his arms start to quiver as he pauses half way up. At that point, he feels weak. Hes not sure he is strong enough to lift the weight. However, is he actually weak?

Of course the answer is no. He is just being challenged to his maximum and is going through an optimal growth period (feeling the burn). Notice also, that this kind of optimal growth never occurs without a spotter someone to watch over him, to protect and help him through the process.

The same is true of Arnolds. There are times when they feel weak, when they feel they cannot go on. Nevertheless, in reality, just like a powerful weightlifter, they are not weak. They are just being challenged to their fullest and going through an optimal growth period.

This challenge is never done alone; it is always done with spotters, sometimes called spirit guides or angels. They are assigned to us and are dedicated to look over us and protect us, especially when we are going through an optimal growth period.

Understanding this insight has impacted my life. It has returned my faith in the love and justice of the Universe and has enlightened me as to why I have always been so drawn to working with troubled youth. For they truly are the Arnolds of this world. They are among the most powerful souls of our time. They have come into this life with a plateful of challenges, so much that it would destroy most of the rest of us. They do so, because it is only through these tremendous challenges that they experience growth.

Shared with Love
Brad
aka gentlesoul4peace
gentlesoul4peace




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