Why Stories Matter (Part 1)
"That's the story of my life," said the young woman as she
slammed the file on the table and ran out of the meeting.
Accustomed to such behavior from her, we resumed without
comment. Wherever she went, trouble followed.
"If that's the story of her life," I thought, "Then maybe
she needs a new story." On that day, I began thinking about
the ways stories teach and form us. Whether we realize it
or not, we each have a core of stories we live by. Stories
determine the ways we see ourselves and the world, and the
principles by which we decide to act. Our internal stories
set our intentions, since what we look for, we tend to find.
Stories give us purpose and direction. "To tell a story is
to construct a life," wrote Deena Metzger. In other words,
we are the stories we tell ourselves.
The world is made up of stories, and so are we.
Stories shape our experience at the same time we put our
experiences into words and stories. Stories and experiences
reinforce one another in a circular fashion. We've been
given those stories by our culture, our teachers, our
religious leaders, our families. Almost everything we know
has was taught to us in the form of a story.
Stories serve as foundations for our lives.
We take the stories our families have handed us, and at an
early age we begin to live out those scripts. With help
from our parents and others around us, we start to shape
ourselves and our environments to fit the story. In a
sense, we choose the costumes, props, and sets for our
story, then set about hiring (and firing) the actors to play
out the parts we've "written" for them. Seen in this light,
we may blame others less. Ever notice how a succession of
"actors" will fill the same role over time?
Stories give shape to our experience.
Even the name of a story has power because it focuses our
attention and provides a meaning and framework for the
story. Titling a story involves intention, judging, and
interpreting as we go. We tend to find what we're looking
for, so a story directs our search, however unconsciously.
When we write or say to ourselves, "This is a story
about..." we choose a direction for the story to take. If
we begin to give an account of our victimization, for
example, we select details to support that construction.
But if we set out to tell a story of empowerment,
liberation, or redemption, our attention will focus on facts
and events to build toward that conclusion. In telling a
story, we must choose the elements that comprise it.
Stories bear witness to truth.
Without witnesses and their descriptions of their
experiences to create documentation, our personal and
cultural history would be lost. Letters, journals,
chronicles, documentary films, even fiction accounts
preserve metaphorical truth. Since stories have the power
to touch hearts and consciences, it has the power to help
bring about change, to correct injustices. In Victorian
England, Charles Dickens' novels exposed the abysmal living
conditions of the lower classes and the harsh treatment of
children working long hours in dangerous mills and
factories. He managed to convey truth so vividly that his
readers could put themselves emotionally in his characters'
places. By bringing those horrible conditions to the public
conscience, he brought about political change: Because of
his novels, the Poor Laws were repealed and new laws were
created for free and compulsory education for all children.
Stories help us understand one another.
In listening to the narratives of others who have gone
before us, we find we travel in company, not alone. We
learn that others have traveled similar paths. We discover
common threads and universal themes. As more and more
people write their confessions, memoirs, and
autobiographies, we see that all our stories are more alike
than different. Shared stories give us community that
transcends time and space.
As we know the power of stories in our lives, we learn to
tell them deliberately to shape our lives and our world. By
telling stories, we create our truths, our foundations, our
communities, our world, and we create a future in which we
can bring possibilities to fruition.
